Saturday, October 20, 2007

18 months

My dear, sweet baby girl.

You are 18 months old today! I can hardly believe that it's been that long, and at the same time I can't believe it's ONLY been that long. I remember vividly the tangle of emotions that I went through on the day you were born. You were so small, and fragile, and delicate, and I was so scared for you.

You've come through your rocky entrance in to this world with flying colors. You light up a room with your smile, and every laugh is like music. Your smile can be hard won. You watch people so intensely, and it can take you a while to warm to them. You seem to read them, and then decide if they're worth being comfortable around.

I've learned so much from you about patience, and love, and finding beauty in the simple things. My heart swells with love for you when you lean in and give me a sloppy kiss, or hang tightly to my arms when you're feeling uncomfortable. I love that you look to me for safety, and comfort, and reassurance that you're in a safe place.

You're so adventurous, but are always careful to look to us for guidance. You learned to stand on your own yesterday, and I know it's only a matter of time before I'll be able to look down and see your little hand in mine as we walk around the neighborhood, and not long after that you'll want me to let go. I don't know if I can ever let go, baby girl.

You adore your big sisters, and squeal with excitement every time you see them. You follow them everywhere, and are distraught when they leave the room without you. They eat it up. You are their favorite person to be with, and they tell me daily how much they love you.

You light up when your daddy walks in the room, and are crushed when he leaves. I know how hard it is on him to have to leave you, but I also know how much it means to him to get to come home to you. When he's here, he's your go-to guy. You will always turn to your daddy before me, and I'm fine with that. I love that you love him so much.

You learn new things every day, and amaze me constantly. You are growing up so fast, and every day you leave a little more of your "babyness" behind. Soon you'll be running away from me without a second glance to go join your friends, and I'm not sure how I'll handle that. I want to keep you small just a little longer, but I so love to watch you grow.

Being a mom is one of my greatest joys in life, and you and your siblings make me want to be a better person. I want to be a mother that you will respect when you have a family of your own, and that is my goal in every decision I make.

I love you so much, baby, and I am so honored that you chose us to be your family. We wouldn't be quite as complete without you. You bring joy and love to our home, and for that I am eternally grateful.

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