Saturday, December 15, 2007

It'll cure what ails ya

I don't think there's anything better than baby/toddler hugs and kisses. Kid hugs are fantastic, and wonderful, and beautiful, but the first time a toddler wraps her little arms around you and gives you a squeeze, your heart just melts completely.

Dahdoo has started hugging (in case you hadn't figured that one out!) and while they're sometimes hard won, "Can mama PLEASE have a hug?!" they're always incredibly healing. She's hugging her baby brother too, which just may be the cutest thing I've ever seen. And she says "thank you" almost every time she gives/receives a hug which adds a whole new level to the cute quotient.

Being a mom has taught me so much about what it really means to love. The day I met Tora and Doodle, my heart opened up in ways I never could have imagined. It was instantaneous, truly. I knew the moment I met B that I loved him, and the moment I met those beautiful little girls for the first time, I just knew that we were meant to walk this path through life together, and to help each other and love each other.

When Dahdoo was born, I struggled for quite a while to place my finger on the pulse of motherhood. She and I didn't bond right away. In fact, it took more like 6 months before I could really look in to her eyes and feel that same bond that I had with her sisters. I couldn't imagine my life without her, don't get me wrong, and felt immense love towards her, there was just something that didn't click right away.

Then when Jax was born, it was like my world stopped spinning. There was no one else around for a few moments, just he and I, soaking each other up. He looked at me with such complete trust and faith that I would protect and nurture him, that my whole being split wide open, much like it did when Tora and Doodle came in to my life. And then when I recovered from that tumult, I was this new creature. This woman, capable of love so passionate that I fear suffocating my children if I don't hide a great portion of that love. So fierce that I would go to the ends of the earth and back if it meant keeping them happy, and safe, and protected.

Motherhood has been the greatest blessing in my life, and the ability to raise these children in a home so bursting at the seams with love is something for which I give thanks with every breath. I am so monumentally blessed.

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